Monday, October 25, 2010

"Masks and Insanity"

I know this post title sounds a bit like a Halloween entry. Oh, if only it were that simple! Some days, like today, I ask myself what the purpose of a writer's blog is. Then I immediately question myself as to whether or not it's even correct English to end a sentence with the word "is". I don't generally question myself on trivial matters. Perhaps there are days when I'm more like the main character in my novel than I care to admit. (Yes, the manuscript is complete. Yes, I have edited it at least a dozen times. Yes, an agent requested an exclusive read and gave great positive feedback...and even gave me a personal referral to another agent! No, the agent has not yet responded to my has only been a week.) Anyway, am I the only writer who writes about my personal experiences and perspective from the mask of fictional characters? I think not. The insanity to it all is that we desperately want others to see behind the mask and know who we really are. (There I go again...ending a sentence with a present tense verb and wondering if it's even correct!) Somehow in our madness of writing we want others to connect with how we really feel. What we really mean. And we want them to know we know how they feel. Maybe it's not a mask at all. But then again, maybe it's not insanity if, as writers, we can dare to invite the reader to take away his or her own mask and reveal a bit more of themselves. The book is called, The Stelladaur: Book One, Finding Tir Na Nog and I wish I could tell you what a Stelladaur is but that would give away the story before you even open the first page. What I can do is quote one of the main characters, Eilam, an ageless guru who knows whole lot more about life and masks and how to deal with trivial matters than I.

"You are learning to hear what the Stelladaur speaks to you, are you not?" Eilam said.

"Yes, I am," said Reilly.

"Then continue to listen to the thoughts that come to you. But understand that it is only when a thought also resonates in your heart that you will know what is next....and you will have the needed courage to do it."

Today, after ten months of not posting anything on my blog, I swallowed my embarrassment and listened when my thoughts and heart collided. That's the moment I recommitted to posting at least every week. So what if it's been ten months since I last wrote. That's a trivial matter I don't need to be concerned with...or question if it's acceptable to anyone else or not. Even to an agent who may read this post. After all, they're just people, too, with their own masks of insanity.